At an early age, most people learn what it means to have a friend. Someone to depend on, to trust, to call and know they are up for fun and adventure.

In time, most people learn what it means to be a friend. For children, it is fairly simple, be present, be here, be true.

Most people discover what it means to have a friendship. Finding someone who likes to do the same things you like to do.

Eventually, we grow up and may choose different roads to travel. those friendships are not forgotten. After all they taught us so much about life.

We learned confidence to walk the unbeaten path. We learned through our and their mistakes.

We learned true friends will laugh with us after they have cried with us.

In time, life gets complicated. You may discover that friends have different values and ideas about life.

Being present, being here and being true might look different to them.

In time, we may experience disappointment and maybe even abandonment. Some may feel used, abused or misunderstood. And some, even ourselves, can’t accept others and any differing opinions.

That is their loss and ours too.

One of my high school best friends wrote this poem for me.

Nova

Parallel paths
cross by chance
under a chandelier.
Dalliance.
Soulful sonnet
whispered in my ear.
Hazel gazes
laughed at my laughter.
But maiden moments
must slip away —
What next? I fear
projections slay
the friendship;
it fades like a nova
Cheryl Marie Wessling
Feb 14, 1981

It was disheartening, but true. Our time together did fade, but the light it brought into each other’s lives continued to nurture us.

Eventually our Holiday cards turned into phone calls. Our once a year lunch turned into week-end trips. We found that our differences enhanced our lives. We continue to share our laughter and tears. 

And probably will for the rest of our lives. It’s about valuing each other and what each of us can give today.

And I learned to value myself because that friendship with self needs to burn brightest of all.