Pamela Jo Bowman

As I ride in the morning I often see this visually interesting shot. I want a crane to get the movement without the camera shadow. I think, movie? music video? documentary? hmmm. By the time I get to the park I pretty much have forgotten about the shot. After all by then I have moved on to movie ideas, the thought of falling into the canal, the scene re-write for the day, the man wearing a purple jogging suit (rather unattractive, shouldn’t someone tell him?) and all the little chores I am suppose to take care of that day. Day after day, except cloudy ones, I see the image again and I remember again and I begin again. That could be a great shot. The subtext. The rough gray wall, the shadow and movement. I arrive at the cement picnic table breathless because a.) I’m tired and b.) I see this. Blinded with the possibilities of this life, my life. Back on the bike. So much I want to learn and do and see. Chasing that shadow that is always a tad ahead of me. Keep pumping. Keep pumping. Keep pumping.

For two days I have been studying a new software program.
Two days.
I read, then practice, then sigh, then reread. Then try again.
I am on page 36.
I don’t think I register any more on the learning curve.
I have flat lined.

A few years ago I started taking classes to re-educate myself. I had been out of the country for 17 years and I fell way behind! My first week of class I realized I was in trouble. I came home and studied. And I cried… a lot!

But I Persevered. I received A’s in my class. I earned them, but more important I learned! I know. It’s an amazing concept.

This over 50 age bracket is tough. It can be daunting. Those kids, my kids, are so quick! But, I know something… actually I know many things they do not…. and I ain’t telling. It really would be a waste of time and breath. And I get shortness of breath now-a-days. So why bother. I’m not hitting my head against any more of those walls!

For today, all I know is I got through page 36, chapter 4. It took me two days, but It felt good. I learned. I self taught. I don’t know why that makes me happy, but it does.

Yep, there’s a blip on the monitor.
No need to defibrillate… yet.

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. ~Winston Churchill