Pamela Jo Bowman

So I got this from another blog, and it seems appropriate. Kind of like the WIKI page. I remember once going to girls camp and the girls were getting a little irritated with each other so I suggested we play the “say something nice” game. I know I am pathetic. So, everyone had to say something nice about the person on their right. Then we isolated every one and everyone had to say something nice about each person. It completely changed the ambiance. The girls still remember that. Now that doesn’t mean you have to say only nice things, but I warn you if you say a mean thing you have to say three nice things to counter it.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn’t matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. Yea, that means you will have to create a blog page. Not a hard thing and it kind of falls in the category of “journal writing.” Great, more multi tasking. Hope you have a sense of humor. You all know I do!

3. If you leave a memory about me, I’ll assume you’re playing the game and I’ll come to your blog and leave one about you. That could be scary. I just might surprise you.

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Tonight has been typical. Chris has decided to sand my hutch for the fourth time. I began refinishing my table a few weeks ago. He took over and then moved on to the hutch. Apparently after the hutch’s fourth different color stain (has to be perfect) it was finally finished, he scratched it when he walked by. He did bring in the table. Now that the boys’ names are no longer etched into the wood, it looks nice.

Ben found his old superballs and was tossing them around his room. I asked him to stop playing with his ? and go and help his father carry in the table. I didn’t realize what I said until after I said it! Too late. Everyone in the room’s mouth dropped open. Did she just say what we think she just said? Walk away from the bomb! I turned, embarrassingly and bumped into…Chris. They all found this amusing.

Then Saac decided to see what his new lights for his aquarium would look like. He plugged in the lights and climbed onto a chair and held the lights over the open aquarium. I did mention the consequences that could occur if he dropped the live lights into the water. I had to leave the room. Didn’t want to see those fish fry or my son either.

They are discussing how they can rig up some sort of wire to hang from the ceiling for the new lights. They think it would be cool looking. I asked what would happen if and when the aquarium moved out. They assured me they could repair the roof in no time.

In no time. I have heard that phrase before. Four years ago when we started to remodel the bathroom. Three years ago when we started landscaping. What phrase strikes terror in my heart, “We don’t need to buy that. I can make it.” Elaborate? Sorry, some other time.

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It is interesting to listen to my children argue. Invariable the guilty one will bring up old hurts or point the finger to anyone in order to slide away from acknowledging their contribution to the situation.

I on the other hand have been reprimanded that I too willingly accept responsibility for everything. “Pam! Why do you do that?” My response? “The buck has to stop somewhere. If people don’t feel defensive then they might be more willing to own what really is theirs.”

Totally bi-polar!

Why does it seem that everyone always has to be right. If you are right then it follows that someone is….wrong. It seems to me that there should be room for just different.

I don’t want to be blamed for your bad choices and I don’t want to blame you for mine. The choices aren’t diminished or excused. They could be examined and learned from. I would hate to think peoples’ opinion of me is based on someone else’s denial to own what is theirs. I would also hate to have people think highly of me when it is others work or effort that really should be acknowledged.

Here they come again. “Mom, look! Look what I found in my bathroom! He left it there!” Great! Now they are providing evidence. Look who’s wrong now!

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BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA, ARIZONA — ARGH!!! I went to the movie this weekend to see VANTAGE POINT. The theater was VERY full. We were sandwiched between two couples. Watching the previews, I often hear the conversations of those around me. Can’t help it. People talk loud and we don’t talk at all, so it is inevitable. I can hear “Neighbor Number One” discussing her plans to enter the medical field because it doesn’t matter what the economy is (she says) people get sick and there will always be a need for nursing assistants. My thought is that nurses and doctors are needed as well but that might require more education than she is willing to tackle.

The movie starts and I quietly put away my popcorn. I would hate to disturb my neighbors with crunching. This is not the first time I notice that my fellow moviegoers do not have the same concern for other viewers.

It began with “Neighbor Number One” now giving her editorial comments on the actors, the scenes and then, of course, the story. Her comments ceased only when she stopped to take phone calls from her children …. multiple calls! After the third call, she informed them (and all of us) that they could not go to the mall and needed to stay at Burger King until she picked them up. There was some discussion on this decision before she finally hung up … again. She then proceeded to grace us with more editorial comments about the movie.

Where has common courtesy gone? I could have asked the couple in front what they thought but they were busy trying to quiet their crying baby. Maybe the group on the other side who talked too loud and then laughed even louder. I could have written a snide note in the light cast by the man who was texting nearby.

I don’t know, maybe I’m missing something here. That’s right, I’m missing …THE MOVIE!

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BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA, ARIZONA — Today was the closing performance for THE MUSIC MAN. First, I’ve got to give a big shout out to Ciera Jo for a great performance! Not that I am biased in any way but I thought she totally stole the show!

I had attended all of the other performances including the final dress rehearsal. But, today, the Yo-Yo Flu took me out. I spent most of the day lying in bed, wishing I felt better and thinking that if I committed time to sleeping, I might finally shake it. Between the final efforts to get everything ready for the play, prepping the film for the crew screening, celebrating with family (Grandma and Grandpa came for Ciera’s big debut) and celebrating Ben’s birthday, I may have gotten a bit run down. So, the Yo-Yo Flue took hold of me. One day, I feel pretty good, the next day I feel terrible. Sometimes, the yo-yo gets moving pretty quickly … i end up feeling good one hour, poor the next.

So, this is a less than an exciting blog post. Maybe in a couple of weeks things will be more fun. I’ll be going to visit Wistie. That will be fun. The film will ship out. That will be fun. Cyndi will go to Indiana for a week. That should leave a little room in my schedule for fun. Of course, we will finally get to start the Ann and Mary story. That will be fun and self gratifying. I’m going to go back to sleep and dream about it some more.

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BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN , MESA, ARIZONA - Working with someone day in and day out, well, conversation occurs. I try to keep my business partner focused on the films but she lures me into these deep and thought provoking conversations! Each day we have these “ah-ha” moments. Sometimes my business partner makes me so mad I can’t even talk. Sometimes she makes me laugh so hard I can’t talk. Of course this never occurs for her! She can always talk!

Many times we “discuss” religion. Often we discuss politics. Frequently we share moments of our lives. We like to talk about our childhood and growing up. Our lives were so different and yet we have managed to find a place where we feel comfortable and safe to be who really are. This is pretty important. We work in a creative and very competitive field. Trust is imperative.

Today, we were visiting with another business associate. Cyndi was talking about a conversation we’d had earlier in the day and she tried to mimic some of my body motions. Her hands were pointing, her shoulders were shimmying and she was tossing her head. She even changed her voice inflection. It was, I admit hilarious, but what goes around comes around. Anyone want to see my interpretation of Cyndi’s belly laugh? Come on over!

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BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA ARIZONA - Finally! A reporter that can get to the politicians and ask the important question! MAC or PC? That really does tell me all I need to know. For others perhaps a second question would help. Chevy or Ford? With these answers we can truly know which is our candidate.

Of course, if they do pass this “tell-all” question, I would like some other answers. Who is sitting with you? Who will be talking with you every day? Who will be briefing you? Who do you trust and why? Who is sitting eating lunch with you and has your ear? Who?

I know. Get back to the real issues! McDonalds or Burger King?

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“We forget ourselves and our destinies in health, and the chief use of temporary sickness is to remind us of these concerns.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

It gripped me shortly after the start of the New Year. Since then, I’ve been lying in a state of limited functionality for several days. Congestion, fever, aching limbs and throbbing head. My sluggish body has removed any thought of ambition, creativity or desire. I just want to sleep and so of course sleep eludes me. I will myself to heal but to no avail.

“Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge we make promise only; pain we obey.” — Marcel Proust

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BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA ARIZONA - This morning, we woke to the smell of rain. All day long the sound of water has penetrated my life. I walk slowly to feel the droplets in my hair and I look up to catch a wet kiss on my skin. My toes are chilled, snuggled inside holiday stockings. I cradle my hot chocolate and slowly sip it, but not slowly enough. My tongue is burned. Evidence of a new season is cleansing my little world. “I love walking in the rain, ‘cause then no one knows I’m crying.”

Or as William Shakespeare said, “The quality of mercy is not strained: it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed. It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.”

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BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN - MESA ARIZONA - We had set up a meeting with a potential client on two different occasions. Last Friday, I had arranged my schedule to accommodate a third effort for a meeting. I had a four-hour window of opportunity and then I had another commitment in the late afternoon. So when his business associate called to let me know the meeting we had scheduled had been demoted due to some other last minute meeting … well I let her know I had other meetings, too. So three of us went ahead and met and hoped his other meeting would end and he could join us. I asked during this meeting if he was serious. She wanted to know what other meeting I had that might be more important than meeting with him. The implication was clear to me. Was I serious?

Now, I am not sure when I became insulted. I don’t think that really matters. What I am wondering is why is my time less valuable than someone else’s. My first reaction was that I am a woman. My husband informed me that he waits for me all the time. I told him he might wait 5 minutes, I have waited 5 hours for him and other “men.” And, now, I contend that I have waited five days! This is my time people. My time. And it is just as valuable as yours. If I were going to be late I would call, but you can bet your socks that I would not be late for the second meeting let alone blow it off a third time.

Have I fed the beast? Does my behavior tell others that they are more important than me? No one is more important nor I might add is anyone less important. It is a matter of mutual respect and consideration. I am not a vengeful person. I will continue to meet my business associates promptly…that is who I am and will continue to be.

Just please don’t mess with me.

I am serious!

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