Imagine making arrangements to meet a friend or spouse at a restaurant for a 6 p.m. dinner appointment. You are driving toward the restaurant when you get a text message from your favorite store, which conveniently is on the way to the restaurant. They have your favorite pair of pants on sale, 25% off. You head on over, park, walk into the store and your pants are waiting for you in the arms of the customer service rep of the day. You purchase them with your phone and you are on your way again making it to your appointment with time to spare.

This is possible because everything we do and everywhere we go is being tracked, logged and stored… today.

Our behavior, our buying habits, our likes and dislikes are being placed into a huge data base that companies already utilize to gamble on…you. And if we know anything about gambling, we know the house always wins.

And I imagine we will feel grateful. Less time, less effort, less hassle in our busy lives. It is convenient. It is expedient. It is smart. It is also just a tad big brotherish, but it is the technological world in which we live.

Now I could get on my soapbox and yell at the world to stop the madness, but really what would be the point. Instead I will dwell on the possibilities and ask myself, how can I monopolize on this information? I’m pretty sure someone is gambling that I am not smart enough, determined enough or connected enough to figure out how to do that.

House wins.

She had a remarkable life. She traveled and lived in foreign countries working, teaching and serving. Her and her husband were instrumental in building and operating a large teaching Academy in Mexico City. For three years they lived in Ecuador helping and teaching the people of that country. Many former students acknowledge her and her family for supporting them financially and emotionally. Many credit their success in achieving their goals to her unwavering faith in them. All of this is now documented for her family and friends. All she accomplished remains an invitation to her posterity to live happy productive lives.

In the process of documenting her life I interviewed her children, her siblings, her friends. One morning I traveled to her brother’s home. He had not been well, but he was willing to share their mutual upbringing with me. During the interview, I was equally amazed by this man’s life. He too traveled the world impacting the lives he touched. After the interview his wife asked me about doing a life documentary of him. I readily agreed, after all their early history was already done.

She sadly informed me that years earlier they had been robbed. All of their pictures and video’s were gone. With this information it seemed even more vital to get a visual and oral remembrance of his life. She felt it was important to document what he remembered but wanted to ask her daughters what they thought. I offered the material I had already accumulated and some suggestions.

A few weeks later I contacted this couple again. They had decided to let their daughters do it.

Last year the man died. His daughters had the best of intentions. They also had very busy lives that did not allow the time and energy required to research, interview, document and edit… As a result they have limited sources documenting his voice, his memories, his mannerisms or his essence.

The life of this man is not lost or forgotten. His children still have fond memories of their father, but their posterity could have known him through the stories he might have shared. They could of heard his voice and looked into his eyes to become better acquainted with their grand and great grandfather. They could have enjoyed his sense of humor and learned from his life experiences because he shared it with them and for them. And maybe, just maybe when times get hard, and they always do, his life would be the touchstone to get through them and become a better person because of the journey.

So, don’t wait to document your life. Don’t wait for someone else to do it. So many say, “my life wasn’t anything special.” I disagree. Every life is something special.

This is your life and it counts too.

So just do it.

After spending time in the empty church parking clutching my imaginary steering wheel and pushing the passenger sides non-existent floor peddles, Ciera discovered the brakes, accelerator, blinkers and mirrors. Who am I kidding? She never looked in the mirrors. After 23 minutes I regained control of the vehicle. I dropped her off curbside and headed to do “errands”.

I went to the library and the bookstore. I browsed, ignoring the covers screaming for attention and sought out the subtle still waters. Could I just plop myself down in the middle of the floor and devour them all? My fingers itched in anticipation of the story, the plot, the characters hidden in plain view for me to discover. Breathing in the printed words I began to remember all my meandering ideas and tortuous thoughts for stories. Yes, I meander and yes, some of my thoughts… oh hell, all of my thoughts are tortuous. Funny, down this path of what if, I began to remember that I enjoy spending time… with me. I remembered that my job does not define me. I remembered how to smile.

What is shamefully true for me is discovering that working for someone else has been difficult for my ego. I am shallow. I am superficial. I am loathsome. I didn’t realize I would experience such self -depreciation for the youthful remuneration and the tedious tasks I find myself doing day in and day out. I had forgotten the politics and petty problems of office life and how the daily interaction influences how I value myself. I thought middle age had overcome my bi-polar insecurities. I was wrong.

Today, I just was, come what may, and it felt good. Today I remembered that there will always be people who don’t like me and that’s ok, because there are people I don’t like too. Today I discovered that I still like me, warts, hot flashes and all. I still find myself entertaining. I still managed to find… myself.

It felt good to be reminded amongst the spines and covers that no one really knows the tale except those who search beneath the surface and spend the time getting to know and understand the character of our life.

I had all these grandiose ideas on how I’d promote my writing, my production work, my marketing knowledge, my web site development experience, my constant contact know how. I wanted to show them how I could help them promote their own companies or products. I wanted to remind them that 50% of their business is from former clients and they need to reach out to them and remind them of what they can do for them. I wanted to share the benefits of effective and efficient advertizing or just suggest ways to utilize technology for their business and their personal lives. I wanted to spin it from a business investment to a personal perspective and tell them about producing their own family movies or documenting their own memorable moments. I had 60 seconds to give my spiel…. I failed.

Chris and I walked in. He was promoting his business and I was promoting mine. We were greeted by most everyone. They asked questions. They wanted to know what we do, all except the head huncho woman who walks up, shakes Chris’ hand, asks about his business and doesn’t even acknowledge me at all. What is up with that? A few minutes later she comes up to me and asks for Chris’ business card.

“I don’ t have his, but I have mine.”

“OH! You work? You have your own business? What do you do?”

I smile, hand her my card and I so want to be brilliant and clever in my response, but I bite my tongue.

“I’m a writer/producer”
“Really. Well, isn’t that interesting.”
And away she walks.

I’m really not good at this promoting myself stuff and even worse at being nice to %^&**()& . I need someone who can sell me.

Any salesmen…women out there?

P.S. They all really liked Chris.

He needed to sign both. No copies allowed.

“How did you know that Pam?”

“She’s such a smart girl!”

“Wow.”

“You’re such a smart girl!”

I almost felt like rolling over and playing dead.

Let’s be clear here. I am older then both of these “smart lawyers.” I would like to smack them around to shake off their arrogance and condescending attitudes, but frankly, this woman doesn’t care what they think of her. She also understands that they don’t really believe she is smart. After all, she is 53 and is working for them. How smart can she be?

Now, sit. Sit. Good girl. Shake hands. Go fetch.

“Such a smart girl!”

I love that line. ‘of the breed that mistake impertinence for wit’.

Who hasn’t been of that breed at one youthful or drunken or weak moment in their life? (Not the Dowager part, but the impertinence part.)

I have provided a list of books I want in my library. Every year for mother’s day Ciera buys me a book off my list. This year she chose Les Misérables.

So at night I read a little chapter in this great book and every night I go to bed with a new thought to ponder.

I am looking forward to using that line, but whenever I have the opportunity I always forget the word impertinence. I come home and look in the book and reread it, committing it to memory for the moment.

I will use it or more likely have it used on me! I know I deserve it. The impertinence part, not the dowager part!

I believe I do know.
If you were to watch a movie and see actors act, most of the time whatever they are “thinking” is conveyed by what they do, not so much by what they say.
Now I know. It’s a MOVIE!

BUT, for five dollars you can buy five completos, sorry I digress.

So, on our little road trip to Utah this last week, I had lots of time to write and read and think. LOVED IT! Got through a good book my sister sent me, a couple scenes and….
Oh yea, back to this idea of thinking and knowing and stuff.

So, you know when you have this thought and it just kind of clunks into the, that is so true space? Well, I thought….

Girls grow up having these storybooks read to them about once upon a time you will live happily ever after. Blah, blah, blah. We really need to explain that some books are FANTASIES! Girls, FYI, It is once upon a time and you are living happily today, or not. Up to you.

BUT, for eight dollars you can buy eight completos!

Now, the thought that went clunking in my head during our lovely road trip was this….

Who knows when a guy is really in love, but for girls, let me suggest it might be the moment when….
You don’t need to be noticed, want to be noticed or care to be noticed by anyone else except the one.

What I learned was just the opposite. When you stop noticing attractive people is the real sign that you are in love. bahaaaahaaa. I think if you stop noticing attractive people you are dead. Now, don’t get your hair in the air, noticing attractive people and being attracted to someone, different scenario.

So, do you need to be noticed by anyone besides your significant other? Think about it. I already know what you’re thinking cause I’ve seen this movie before.

BUT… see/click kidshistory on you tube for further hilarity.

The end.