Pamela Jo Bowman

Anybody know who these people are? I want to hear more.

Fast Tube by Casper

I’m sure you’ve enjoyed this piece already, but it truly is inspiring.

Fast Tube by Casper

Today I got to leave work early. I drove home in the afternoon sun. It was glorious.

After spending time in the empty church parking clutching my imaginary steering wheel and pushing the passenger sides non-existent floor peddles, Ciera discovered the brakes, accelerator, blinkers and mirrors. Who am I kidding? She never looked in the mirrors. After 23 minutes I regained control of the vehicle. I dropped her off curbside and headed to do “errands”.

I went to the library and the bookstore. I browsed, ignoring the covers screaming for attention and sought out the subtle still waters. Could I just plop myself down in the middle of the floor and devour them all? My fingers itched in anticipation of the story, the plot, the characters hidden in plain view for me to discover. Breathing in the printed words I began to remember all my meandering ideas and tortuous thoughts for stories. Yes, I meander and yes, some of my thoughts… oh hell, all of my thoughts are tortuous. Funny, down this path of what if, I began to remember that I enjoy spending time… with me. I remembered that my job does not define me. I remembered how to smile.

What is shamefully true for me is discovering that working for someone else has been difficult for my ego. I am shallow. I am superficial. I am loathsome. I didn’t realize I would experience such self -depreciation for the youthful remuneration and the tedious tasks I find myself doing day in and day out. I had forgotten the politics and petty problems of office life and how the daily interaction influences how I value myself. I thought middle age had overcome my bi-polar insecurities. I was wrong.

Today, I just was, come what may, and it felt good. Today I remembered that there will always be people who don’t like me and that’s ok, because there are people I don’t like too. Today I discovered that I still like me, warts, hot flashes and all. I still find myself entertaining. I still managed to find… myself.

It felt good to be reminded amongst the spines and covers that no one really knows the tale except those who search beneath the surface and spend the time getting to know and understand the character of our life.

“The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to do what you love. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.” – Steve Jobs

I like the rain. Warm chocolate chip cookies, a good book or movie, a fire and soft pillow talk music.
Enjoy.

Fast Tube by Casper

I don’t know what other Mothers and Daughters discuss between themselves while eating lunch at Disneyland, but our conversation went something like.

“Which evil character do you think you most resemble?”

“Evil Character?”

“Yea. Lady Tremaine, Cinderella’s wicked Stepmother, Snow White’s step mother the Queen, Cruelladevil, My personal favorite, Maleficent from sleeping beauty…”

“Are you serious? Yours is Maleficent?”

“Definitely.”

“Interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever considered that question. I always recognized the similarities, either imagined or wished for toward the heroine, I never considered the similarities toward the antagonist.”

“So, which one?”

“Let me give it some thought.”

“O.K…. I need a Peter Pan hat.”

“Of course you do.”

And off we flew to Never Land to discover that the evil one had stolen, purchased or hid them all from every corner, every store, every booth, every location we could find in both parks.

But alas, we remembered the land of cyberspace where all things can be purchased and delivered to your tree house, castle, stump or wooded hideaway.

Christmas is coming.

I started a tradition and didn’t even know it. I started taking my daughters on “mommy trips”. Just the two of us. Last year I took Ciera to Oregon and Northern California. We rented a car and went wherever we felt like going. One day we sat in an amusement park arguing. But at the end we reached a new understanding and not necessarily about the other person.

This week Wistie and I are going to Newport Beach. Just the two of us. Sort of.
Again I rented a car and we will go wherever we want. I hope we don’t argue in the amusement park, but if we do I know it’ll end up alright.

This isn’t a time when I give sage advice, because frankly I don’t have any. I don’t think I talk too much about me or my life, unless they ask and really want to know. I try really hard not to “interview” them on these trips, but sometimes being me gets in the way of us.

I know I will always be “the mom”, but I am discovering that the relationship I developed with them as children has evolved into a wonderful relationship as adults. I still remind them that “I am the Mom!” and I tell them I am not their friend and they don’t have to like me, but the truth for me is they are my bestest friends.

They always love me, no matter what. And I them.

Traditions. I like em.

This week we went to a business breakfast meeting. It is held weekly with other business people who work together to promote each other’s work. It is like having 27 other people networking for you. It is a very good idea, don’t you think?

I had all these grandiose ideas on how I’d promote my writing, my production work, my marketing knowledge, my web site development experience, my constant contact know how. I wanted to show them how I could help them promote their own companies or products. I wanted to remind them that 50% of their business is from former clients and they need to reach out to them and remind them of what they can do for them. I wanted to share the benefits of effective and efficient advertizing or just suggest ways to utilize technology for their business and their personal lives. I wanted to spin it from a business investment to a personal perspective and tell them about producing their own family movies or documenting their own memorable moments. I had 60 seconds to give my spiel…. I failed.

Chris and I walked in. He was promoting his business and I was promoting mine. We were greeted by most everyone. They asked questions. They wanted to know what we do, all except the head huncho woman who walks up, shakes Chris’ hand, asks about his business and doesn’t even acknowledge me at all. What is up with that? A few minutes later she comes up to me and asks for Chris’ business card.

“I don’ t have his, but I have mine.”

“OH! You work? You have your own business? What do you do?”

I smile, hand her my card and I so want to be brilliant and clever in my response, but I bite my tongue.

“I’m a writer/producer”
“Really. Well, isn’t that interesting.”
And away she walks.

I’m really not good at this promoting myself stuff and even worse at being nice to %^&**()& . I need someone who can sell me.

Any salesmen…women out there?

P.S. They all really liked Chris.