September, 2012 Archives


Men are Stupid and Women are Crazy

by Pj in Random

So the other day one of our favorite attorney’s hung out in the “alley”. He vocally expressed his desire not to work because he had so much work that he couldn’t work. It was in one of our mid-afternoon, how are we going to get through the rest of this stressful day, I know, let’s have a discussion moment. I asked him, “how can we, as women, motivate or inspire men to do … anything.

After the snickers and subtle suggestions, he said “that” is not what motivates men. Now I know this was only one man so don’t get in my face that this was not someone who should or could represent all men. DUH!

I was just asking for his insight. So chill.

What followed was a discussion that got…personal. I won’t go into details.

He said if his wife asked or needed something from him, he responds if she tells him directly and explains why this is important to her.

Really. Hmmm.

After laughing at him he mocked offense and asked, “what? I do. If you guys ask me to do something I do it. “

And the trap closed.

I have an assignment at work that requires the attorney’s to submit to me a blog. I schedule it out so they only have to write one once a month. I send out a calendar and a weekly reminder. I walk down the halls poking my head in their offices and (gasp) smile. They know why I am there and they promise me that they will send me their assignment, but they don’t. I have bribed them with M&M’s and cashews. I post notices on their computer screens. I ask their legal assistants to schedule time for them to do a blog. I accumulated a list of ideas for them to write about. I glare at them, but they don’t care or more accurately, they don’t care about me.

Their lack of doing their assignment prevents me from doing mine and that, to me, is unacceptable.

So as a last resort I ask the “managing attorney” to encourage them to do their assignment.

That works.

And that really pisses me off.

So I squint my eyes at this defenseless trapped creature and ask.

“What about blogging?”

“Well, Pam… “ he goes off on all the work he has to do and that he wants to spend time with his family and he doesn’t see why it is important and maybe if I offered some kind of tangible reward and…

The list of excuses was long. Later in the day I went in his office to see if I had offended him. He said no. He knows women are marginalized, but he also said leaders inspire. OH!. So this is my fault. I lack leadership. Good to know.

As he walked away, the girls in the alley still came up with the same old conclusion.

Men are stupid and women are crazy.

And I still don’t have an answer. Or his blog.


Don’t Tell Me

by Pj in Random

Don’t tell me it is better or will get better or it used to be better because I don’t believe you, any of you. I won’t lay blame or point fingers because that is a huge waste of time and energy. That won’t change what has happened and it won’t change what will happen.

And don’t tell me I’m a white middle class citizen who has not suffered and I don’t know what I am talking about. That would show that you don’t know what you are talking about.

When President Obama says “Forward” he doesn’t sound like a socialist or communist as some are trying to suggest. He sounds, well…stupid. Mr. President, we don’t have a choice. Forward is all we’ve got.

And when Mr. Romney says “Government didn’t build my business, I DID.” I say Really? I don’t think so. You had some unique opportunities provided to you by … your father. your education, and your connections. So don’t patronize me because when you do you imply that I didn’t build my own company and if I did, I didn’t work hard enough or smart enough or long enough. And I did. And I still am.

You both took advantage of your opportunities, you both worked hard and you both achieved success, as you should.

As we all should.

Unfortunately, in my family’s dedication to our individual American dream, we have become the collateral damage of polluted policies and programs that poisoned our opportunities. Down sizing, unaffordable health care and educational opportunities, housing market downturns, the collapse of banks, and the loss of retirement accounts all resulted because policy makers did not anticipate the greed of individuals or did not care.

And as band-aids are carefully and gently applied to the wounds, many are in search of someone to blame for the hemorrhaging of our country. Someone be accountable, someone accept responsibility, because this is NOT my fault. And even if ‘someone’ is brave enough to own it they won’t be able to fix it.

Our divided house has fallen. We are witnesses to that. We, as verbal spectators watched our beloved country become broken, beaten and busted. Our country is separated, divided and fractured at every level. Even the tragic events of 9/11 could not sustain unity for any length of time. What will it take for America to become what we profess it to be, a united people, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and justice for all? What will it take?

United citizens who are considerate and respectful of one another.

This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are. Plato

If we want it to be different, if we want it to get better, then we have to be different and we have to be better.

This is our opportunity. It won’t change what has happened, but it could change what can happen.


Should Know Better

by Pj in Random

Once, when I attended a basketball game (Dublan style) the refs clearly favored the opposing team. Booing and yelling ensued. A wise man (Carl Call) was clearly dismayed by such bad behavior by those who should know better. He expressed his displeasure to those sitting around him. I thought he was being overly zealous so I joined in and yelled insults at the refs too. Such a rebel!

No, actually I chose to follow the louder, bigger crowd. Carl Call was right. It was bad form then and it remains bad form today.

Belittling, booing, mocking and posting derogatory comments shows a lack of respect to the individual, group, institution and oneself. Some may not know better, but hopefully most still do.

Regardless of what religious, social or political affiliation I belong to or you belong to, I hear that high road is still less traveled, more lonely and less polluted by travelers’ noise and litter.

I don’t know which candidates I am voting for this time. My mind is not made up. I am trying really hard to ignore the booing and bad mouthing from the peanut gallery. It is difficult because I want to understand and the best way to learn is to listen.

I have not seen or heard a true and open dialogue among my contemporaries or anyone for that matter. I know that the rehearsed debates are coming, but when did the game begin? Was there the respectful coin toss and the hope that the best team wins. Did I miss that? I hate to use the global everyone, but in this case I feel it applies. Naturally, everyone is convinced his or her team should win. Unfortunately, most in the crowd don’t even know how the game is played they just cheer for the home team while bonding with their fellow tailgaters in the cheap seats. Their children sit among them absorbing the hate and ridicule for the opposing team. They learn quick and fast to belong to this team you are allowed to hate and demean, in fact it is mandatory. Another generation poisoned.

I admit I don’t know the issues as well as I want to know them and honestly, I understand them even less. I certainly don’t know the players at all, but I want to know what is real. Unfortunately, I don’t like contention. What I require is a safe place among peers where we discuss the issues civilly. A place where ideas and solutions are explored. A place where I am not compelled to defend positions I have not committed to because I don’t know all the facts and I am pretty confident no one does. A place where I am not attacked for trying to understand before I seek to be understood. A place where questions are not answered with arrogance and hypocrisy.

In the end one team will win. Once upon a time the teams would congratulate each other on a game well played. Both teams left the field with mutual respect for the efforts displayed. Not anymore.

Today, the opposing team continues to play the game off the field. Blocking, fouling, jostling for position, stealing the ball and the rants from their cheerleaders feed the frenzy.

What was once bad form is now accepted and embraced.

Since, apparently the game clock keeps adding time, no one wins, which means we all lose.

Go team, go.

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