April 12th, 2012 Archives

12
Apr

Just Regard

by Pj in Family

I write often. I delete just as often.

I find myself in a rather negative state of mind. It is disturbing. I like being faced with situations that are challenging because it amuses me to discover options and solutions.

Now I often find the situation is not difficult, but the people are and I am quite certain they find me equally difficult. I can not change a person’s mind, I can only change mine. Blah, blah, blah.

So when I write the only thing that taps forth is judgement and criticism. Very unpleasant and certainly not productive. Why share that? I won’t.

My thoughts and words will not alter anyones personality or behavior. I know this. So I delete the words, but the thoughts linger. The judgmental feelings that I obliterate are clearly transparent to… me, a person who is equally difficult and obnoxious in seeking solutions that are not out there. And I can’t bare to look in here. Recognizing my weaknesses somehow diminish any positive traits I humor myself in having.

I think one of the most annoying and wonderful quirks is the confidence in which people live. They are right and perfect and justified. I don’t know what that feels like. I envy that to be so sure.

I believe if I want to change my negativity I must feel and think positive things regardless of what…

Stop… and just regard.

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