March, 2010 Archives


Permission to Hate

by Pj in Family

Many years ago I gave permission to someone I love to hate someone.

It was empowering.

In my defense, the other individual, without knowing me at all, decided on first meeting that he did not care for me. From that moment on, at every opportunity, he discredited me. Now I know this because years later people told me what he had said about me. And because of his station in our society people willingly adopted his opinions. He gave them permission to hate.

In time and with shared experiences they discovered I was a decent human being after all. It was difficult to overcome and frankly still is.

I felt his animosity toward me. I felt it was unwarranted and so I chose to dislike him as well. I would utter derogatory comments at every chance encounter. Those around me were now influenced by my feelings and one day one of them told this man off, in public.

This brought me pleasure.

I wanted him to feel humiliated and shamed. I wanted him to realize he was not any better than me. I wanted my “tribe” to hate him and they did.

It starts there. Giving permission to others to hate. Our mutual hate superficially bonds us. Like a pack of animals hunting the weak and infirmed, until the pack turns on you because you have become the hunted.

With our study of history and human nature you would think we would learn how uncivilized that behavior is. You would think we would evolve into more decent human beings. You would think.

It could end by choosing love instead, encouraging love and if not love, how about the benefit of the doubt and common courtesy. Granted, that takes more effort, but I believe it makes us more humane.

Truly empowering.

Truly joyous.



by Pj in Family

I have been attending this professional networking employment group. In my group of over 20 there is a hodgepodge of professional people from lawyers, accountants, engineers, doctors and one filmmaker. The ages range from recent grads to Grandparents.

Our goal is to promote our product, which initially is us. Number one recommendation is, talk to people. Nobody knows what you are doing if you don’t tell them. Our homework for the week was to get in touch with our previous employers, friends, and associates who know us and who value our work. Statistics show that acquiring more work is all about networking. So start with who you know and it will lead to those they know who are looking for your services.

Sounds doable and safe, talking to known friends and associates. I stewed the first part of the week. Should I go to their offices and disrupt them there? Should I ask for an appointment? I don’t want to bother anyone. My resolve slowly began to deteriorate. But, my determination outweighed my insecurities. I committed to do this this week! So, I compromised and opted for a phone conference, but no one answered. I tried, that is what counts, right?

I hate being a middle-aged adult having to go back to my networking group san assignment. I feel like I did as a student when I went to school unprepared. (A rare occurrence! JA) I have one more day to practice… someone is at the door. Time to network!


Read It.

by Pj in Family

I want to recommend to everyone ‘When A Crocodile Eats the Sun‘. And if you are very brave try your hand and heart with ‘House of Stone.’.

Actually, read House first, than Crocodile. I still have them checked out from the library. AMAZING stuff. My head is so full of facts and my heart is so heavy, so full of sadness and awe and guilt and a huge need to DO something!

I am more committed then ever to finish this screenplay and maybe another one as well! This may be a love story of sorts, but to me it is a story of humans and their natures.

I also appreciate that ignorance is bliss, so spoiler alert. These books educate, enlighten and examine all of us. They also blighted my bliss.


Pain in the BACK!

by Pj in Family

Down and out for the count.

So sad.

If I have to be slumped over from back pain shouldn’t I at least have grandkids to help pick things up off the floor for me?

ARGH! This getting old thing is getting old! Are my racquet ball days really over? Who stole the youth from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn’t be!

Now, let’s look at the bright side. With nothing else to do I get to finish another book! Three books in one week.

And no. That is not a picture of me.
I never could have fake nails!


Feels like….

by Pj in Family

To my children who are in that stage of life where they need to know if what they feel is real. Once you have felt it you know the others were counterfeits.

Does it keep you up at night?
Does it chase you in your dreams?
Does rip you up inside, tearin at the seams?
Does it burn up like a star, falling from above?
Does it feel like Love?

Does it make you wanna die,
or simply fly away?
Does it make you want to scream,
when there’s nothing left to say?
Does it somehow set you free,
when it all comes push to shove?
Does it feel like love?

Because it feels like love…to me

Does it give you what you need,
when you’re forced to do without?
Does it help you to believe,
beyond the shadows of a doubt?
Even when he’s gone,
it’s you he’s thinking of

Does it feel like love?
Cause it feels like love…

Will you follow it wherever it may lead you?
Will you turn and walk away?
Cast your fears of forever aside
and trust that it’s here to… stay

When you wear it on your sleeve, it’s hanging by a thread
You’re countin butterflies, as you lie awake in bed
It’s so hard to contain, and it fits you like a glove
Cause it feels like love

Does it feel like love?
You know it feels like love…
You know it feels like love….to me


The Ones Who Do

by Pj in Family

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify them, or vilify them. But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
— Jack Kerouac



by Pj in Family

I LOVE stories that highlight women, past and present, who are brave and true and honest and committed to their right.

Today I met, through more research, Nehanda. Nehanda was a woman in Africa who told the people that they had a right to fight for their land that was essentially stolen by Cecil Rhodes. And her people listened to her and believed her and followed her.

I wish I could say that these people won. They did not. Nehanda was captured and the local Jesuit priest, Father Richartz tried to convert her, but she would have none of it. She demanded to be returned to her people. Instead, they carried her to the scaffold where she proclaimed, “My bones shall rise again. Then they hanged her.

The girls of this region learn from this woman known as the grandmother of Zimbabwe. Her bones rise again and again as women are raised to be brave and true and honest and committed to their right.

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