April, 2009 Archives


Continuing On

by Pj in Random

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

This month I made a choice. I had the opportunity to go do research back east for three writing projects. I chose not to go. And even though I feel it was the right choice for me, I feel sad.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill.

I will continue.


Alma Mater

by Pj in Random

There have been hundreds of people, some I know, most I don’t that have purchased the documentary, “The Land of Refuge.” Yesterday, I opened up a letter from my college. They were buying two of my movies. For some reason this made me cry. I am such a SAP!



by Pj in Family


I like learning this stuff! Chris did an amazing job leveling the backyard with the tractor. I don’t know why we had to check the measurements, but we did. So…. now what?


Foreign Concepts

by Pj in Family, Random

This is a dishwasher.


More specifically, this is our dishwasher. Notice how there is room in the dishwasher. I make sure it is empty every night. That is to make it convenient for those living in my house to put their dishes into it during the morning rush hour.

This is my sink. sinks.jpgThis is what I find every day. So, one week I decided to not be so accommodating. I just left the dishes in the sink. The pile got pretty high and then Chris washed them…. By hand. He says a dish washer is not for washing dishes, it is for disinfecting them. Explains why his dishes are always on the counter… I guess. Now many of you are screaming in your heads, “This is your fault Pam. You don’t make them!” And you are right. As Chris so aptly told me the other day. “You have given them too many choices. And they choose not to do ANYTHING.” Glad to know it is once again my fault.

This is my stove. cookies.jpg Ciera made cookies. Thoughtful of the girl, right? She always over cooks them because she gets busy… playing. She really only makes them so she can eat the dough anyway. Don’t know where she learned that from! I told her when she was 8 if she didn’t clean up after baking then she would not be allowed to use my kitchen anymore. That would explain why her dishes aren’t in the dishwasher, they are in my sink, on her desk, under her bed, in her bathroom (?), in the backyard, in my car….

This is a piece of lint. biglint.jpgI put it in the middle of my floor… as a test. It has been there for about a month. I pick it up when I vacuum and then put it back. I want to see how long it takes for someone else to pick it up. I watch them walk over it, jump over it. I watch them even look at it, but the idea of picking it up? Foreign concept of foreign object by foreign aliens called CHILDREN.


Empty Canvas

by Pj in Family, Random

This is our backyard. We moved here 9 years ago. We did have grass and a couple of trees, but for 8 months we have had…. dirt.


I like to look at it as a clean slate, an empty canvas, of endless possibilities, and opportunities. However you look at it doesn’t really matter. It is how I look at it.

Whatever it once was it no longer is and never will be again. Kind of like the promise of Spring and the symbol of Easter.

Ciera asked me during a recent spiritual performance what the story about the lady who approached the Savior was all about. “Why was everyone so mad at her?” women.jpg It was wonderful to share with her the concept of how people make mistakes and Jesus, in his infinite love, just told the woman that she was forgiven and “to sin no more.”

Of course in reality, as humans that would be like saying, stop breathing. What is important to me is recognizing the unconditional love, the acceptance, the intimate moment of being known and still being accepted, received and valued.

So, in the months ahead, I will (hopefully) be posting the progress of our yard. The dirt will be replaced with grass, flowers, trees ( a water feature, please!) that provide shade and a place where family can recognize unconditional acceptance and enjoy intimate moments of being loved and giving love. spring6.jpgOr there will be more pictures of… dirt.

What I know is time really does pass and many things that I thought would always be important to me have diminished in importance. Time does that. Distance does that. Lack of nourishment does that and frankly I’m glad. I rather like the possibility of that empty canvas regardless of how ugly or boring or undeveloped it is perceived to be. It is really not empty, it is just waiting to be developed into what it was meant to be. We all hold within us the possibility.


Bring it on Spring

by Pj in Film Production, Screenwriting

Almost finished! Page 90 of a 120-page screenplay. I like it so much that I WANT others to read it. I am so close to turning it over to “the editor.” Besides finding all my grammatical errors, spelling errors, and verb tense errors, she is able to see where it is weak AND she is excellent with adding the little details … details that I assume everyone knows but it turns out that I thought about them but that they are only in my head!


Today, I found Robert Mugabe’s address and email. I am seriously going to write to him and ask for an interview. I mean why wouldn’t he want to tell the world about the first Mrs. Mugabe. She was a strong, determined force of good for the young country of Zimbabwe. I have learned it never hurts to ask! Everyone else thinks I am nuts for wanting to do it but I’ve tilted at windmills before.

So, Cyndi, Alec and I have been working on a short. I think we will shoot it soon, hopefully before she moves to Los Angeles. She’s been threatening to move for years but I think she means it this time. This last week we did a small film shoot of a Celtic Concert. It has been over six months since we were in production! We forgot how much fun it is. I spent yesterday editing. I love editing. For the last three years, she has been trying to get me to consider working on more than one project at a time. I told her I don’t work that way. So she schedules a film shoot, a meeting to pitch ideas, an editing session, a writing deadline. I find myself working on several projects at once. She has her way of getting her way. Smart girl.


It is spring when everything seems possible in spite of how it all seems so improbable. Can’t you feel it in the air? Change and hope and sunny skies and sometimes the rain to make everything grow … even me.

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