October, 2008 Archives


Luckiest People in the World

by Pj in Random

Wistie just called to tell me she is watching “Funny Girl.” I love, love, love that movie. She said Fanny had just sung “People”. So she said I had to sing it. Now, what is a Mom to do? So I sang it. I think I ruined the mood of the movie, because she had to hang up so she could run to the bathroom. I think she might have had me on speaker phone. It sounded like others found something as amusing as Wistie. I know the movie had it’s funny moments, but it sounded like they fell of their chairs or something. Hope they are ok because People, people who need people are the luckiest people, in the world! Love ya Wis!


Keep Walking

by Pj in Random

We are in the final run through. Now it is the nit picky stuff that can never be nit picky enough! Matching the sounds, the music, the names, the feeling, and lets not forget the story!

We are so close I can almost feel that dull ache I felt when my children walked away from me their first day of school. I knew I would never be their only source of information ever again, never be their only resource, and never be their only influence. They had access to the world and the world had access to them. They kept walking…away.

This story is not my story, and yet I have become the storyteller of lives and events that deserve to be remembered. It has been a publicly personal journey. Sometimes I have felt lost and confused as I unearthed forgotten or hidden histories. Other times I have encountered revelatory self-discoveries as I experienced my own weaknesses and then was overwhelmed with my strengths. Was I always strong? Was I always this determined?

I have walked away from me. I have access to the world and the world has access to me. I’ll keep walking….


Melancholy Smile

by Pj in Random

Tonight we had a recording session with Chris and Mike. They practiced 13 songs they have selected for their music CD. It was fun to listen to them sing together again. It has been a long time. Their voices blend beautifully.

I don’t know too much about music, but one of the things I loved while living in Mexico was the music. It is so rich and deep and poetic. Granted, I do not know the language well enough to know what many of the songs are about, but I know how they make me feel. They make me smile…and at the same time I feel a tad melancholy.

I believe I know how they will make you feel too!

Fun stuff.


It is all I Ask

by Pj in Random

Ciera is having a late night with like 10 other 13-year-old girls. Pizza, root beer, giggles, games, popcorn and then they started a movie. It wasn’t long before I could hear the haunting and beautiful music from “The Phantom of the Opera.” I can only hear bits and pieces upstairs, but the power behind the music moves me still.

They are arguing about who Christine really loves. Why was she attracted to the phantom? It is fun to listen to them discuss their opinions. I remember pondering on their relationship as well.

Even now, as I try to teach my children to be open and authentic in the pursuit of relationships, I also want them to be aware of those that wear masks. It is a difficult lesson because in truth we all wear masks. The moment when you can be exposed without fear, but feel the trusting embrace of eyes that see who you really are and love you all the more, is worth that risk and more.

Of course, you can’t have the front of the hand without the back. When you expose yourself and discover the trust you placed in another has not been valued, respected and held with tender regard…well, soul wrenching agony comes to mind. I do believe we all need to feel that. It helps us appreciate and value it when it is offered to us and if it is not reciprocated, then we should have the decency to say so honestly and with tenderness.

It is all we ask.



by Pj in Random


“I do not believe that the accident of birth makes people sisters and brothers. It makes them siblings. Gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood are conditions people have to work at. It’s a serious matter. You compromise, you give, you take, you stand firm, and you’re relentless…And it is an investment. Sisterhood means if you happen to be in Burma and I happen to be in San Diego and I’m married to someone who is very jealous and you’re married to somebody who is very possessive, if you call me in the middle of the night, I have to come.” —— Maya Angelou

Happy Birthday Joanie. You are a wonderful sister. I love you.


Passed the Mother-in-law test!

by Pj in Random

This week-end my mother-in-law came to town. She asked about the movie and asked if she could see it. It was fun to have someone sincerely interested in the project, but, seriously now, to have my mother-in-law as one of the first critics? I consented to take her to the office and agreed that she could watch the first 10 minutes.

I must admit I was nervous. My husband did not lick his pursuit of excellence off the grass. My mother-in-law is known for being a tad of a perfectionist. She has been a music teacher to most of the people of Colonia Dublan for the last 50 years. She knows her stuff and she expected and received the very best from her students. All of her children were raised with a love of music. They all know how to play instruments. How to sing. How to work hard and how to never settle for less then your best. So here I was willingly sharing my movie with someone who is very familiar with the colonies, knows the history and has such high standards of excellence. Have I lost my mind?

I pushed the button and walked away. After 10 minutes I came back in and pushed the button again. She looked at me with tears in her eyes, “ Don’t I get to watch more? I want to see more!” She said she really felt the emotion of the movie and was immediately drawn into the story. WOW!

Kind of makes me feel good. I think this is what I needed, a little encouragement to finish this thing! Soon I will be showing 90 minutes to many others. I am more confident then ever that others will appreciate not what I have done, but what the colonists did. They were amazing.


Remember and Be Grateful

by Pj in Random

I work better in partnership. I am even more convinced of that this week. I am pretty fatigued. Actually, I am beyond fatigued.

“What do you want for lunch?” Please don’t make me decide even this most simple request. I don’t know. I don’t care. It is not important. Now where is that picture? That audio piece, that clip, that …. What was I looking for?

My family is pretty tired of me being tired. They are trying so hard to be supportive and encouraging. “What can I do for you today?”
Iron. I came home today and it was actually done. Not hung up, but ironed none the less. Thanks Ben.

Today, Cyndi got busy and took over the machine. AMAZING because I let her. We made some serious headway and had to make hard choices, but it was what had to happen to make the product even better. Thanks Cyndi.

Chris asked me if I wanted his help editing. Editing…No, but just discussing ideas and problems sometimes helps me see things clearer. He helps me everyday in little ways. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, tiling, hammering, sawing, supporting me. Thanks Chris.

This really is going to be done. It really is going to be wonderful. It is an amazing story. It has been a privilege and honor to research, document and preserve this story. It really is all about caring for one another. Sometimes that means taking time just to remember and be grateful.

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