November, 2007 Archives


No One Knows I’m Crying

by Pj in Random

raindrops.jpgBY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA ARIZONA – This morning, we woke to the smell of rain. All day long the sound of water has penetrated my life. I walk slowly to feel the droplets in my hair and I look up to catch a wet kiss on my skin. My toes are chilled, snuggled inside holiday stockings. I cradle my hot chocolate and slowly sip it, but not slowly enough. My tongue is burned. Evidence of a new season is cleansing my little world. “I love walking in the rain, ‘cause then no one knows I’m crying.”

Or as William Shakespeare said, “The quality of mercy is not strained: it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed. It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.”


Love My Work

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA – I love my work, but with all good things there are negative side affects. For me, the one side affect I could live without is the extra 20 pounds I have accumulated this year! I have never had weight issues. Never say never. Sitting in front of a computer writing, editing and sipping on my soda is definitely taking its toll! What’s a girl to do? I have an idea. Not care! I like it. It’s simple. It doesn’t require any behavior change and it allows me to keep doing what I love doing.

weighty.jpgHeck, I want to get to the point of thinking that there is just more of me to love. Works for me! Plus it kind of spreads out the wrinkles. That’s a good thing, right? The proverbial half glass full of carbonated water. For me, eventually the bubbles go flat (although other folks seem to be able to keep pumping the bubbles flowing endlessly). The question I wake up everyday is, “Will my stomach ever be flat … again?!? I slide out of bed and I know the answer is … NO!”

I know some of my friends have lost some weight. I wonder if my gaining weight supports the energy laws. You know, “energy can never be created or destroyed.” So doesn’t it follow if someone is losing weight then someone has to be gaining it somewhere? I guess it has attached itself to me. I wish it would attach itself to Saac. He could use it!



by Pj in Family

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA ARIZONA — pjwm.jpgFor Thanksgiving, Wistie came home. YAY!! Of course, this means spending quality time together … shopping. Now this really is a sacrifice for both of us. Shopping is not our first choice in providing entertainment, but it was an excellent excuse to spend some alone time with each other.

The car was unusually quiet even with the music playing. We were both just being and were not needing to converse needlessly. I glanced over and asked.
“Wistie, What are you thinking?”
“Nothing,” she replied.
“You look like you are deep in thought.” I responded.
She smiled at me and said, “No, I’m just wading.”

Had to smile. We waded together in shallower thoughts of Christmas’ past and days gone by. A lovely hour with my daughter, wading.


We’re Here

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA ARIZONA – A few years ago, my husband and I traveled “down home.” This trip takes a minimum of seven hours. I decided to see how long it would take before he instigated a conversation. We pulled into the driveway seven hours later and he put the vehicle in park. He looked at me and said, “We’re here.”

drivingMeCrazy.jpgI often play that game with friends and acquaintances. How long will it be before they ask me a question? Will they even ask me a question? It’s NOT as if I don’t ask questions. My children are always giving me grief for asking too many questions. But I am interested in what they are thinking and doing, so I ask and then I listen.

Once I told a friend about something I was doing. I volunteered the information. He said, “Why didn’t you tell me that you do that?” I responded, “Why didn’t you ask?” Some friends tell me that asking questions is prying into people’s business. I disagree. I believe it is showing a genuine interest in others and it would be nice if others were genuinely interested in my life as well.

“We’re here.” Not sure how we got here, but it looks like we’ll be here for a while .. until someone figures out that we should maybe be somewhere else. Don’t want to pry but I have a question for you. “Is here where you want to be?”


Wet Kiss

by Pj in Family

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA, ARIZONA — Growing up in an Italian family, holidays, birthdays, weddings, week-ends, sometimes Tuesdays meant family and food and noise and music. That is what I remember. I also remember drying dishes, a lot of dishes. There were many dish towels that became too wet to dry with, but perfect for snapping my cousin’s behind! I remember family outings and vacations and hospital visits and gossip and lots and lots of kissing. Kissing hello and kissing good-bye.

Yesterday, for Thanksgiving, we went to a relatives home. There were a lot of people and food. familydinner.jpgBut my children were not familiar with their cousins or aunts and uncles. They were anxious to get home and have their friends come over. I realized then that our family is experiencing the consequences of family spread. Thanksgiving has become the holiday where extended families reunite for two hours. Our mouths are too full to share the events of our everyday lives. After dinner, everyone is too full to care. Conversation over the dishes is diminished because of the dishwasher hum. Then, it’s time to catch the newest holiday movie where we can sit and not have to talk to anyone for two hours!

Interesting that our family ties have been boiled, cooked, baked, served and cut during a ceremonious event that was created to give thanks for the bounties of our lives and we now break bread with people we don’t share much of our lives with and don’t even really know.

Growing up this year is not what I remember it being like when I was a child. It’s not even what I remember since last year. I want that wet dish towel back! I want to chase you around the kitchen and get caught in a great bosom aunt hug attached to a wet kiss!


by Pj in Random


Ya Got To Have Friends

This video was part of an annual presentation. Since I am editing the presentation I chose not to include it in the video, but I am now tormenting my “friends” by posting this here. Hope you enjoy it as much as those who know and love us will.


History Erased

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA ARIZONA — History is the only laboratory we have in which to test the consequences of thought. — Etienne Gilson.

History. That is what I have been absorbed in this last week. The history of our nation, our culture, our humanity. I am beginning to understand the danger of education.

photoshopHistory.jpgWhat experience and history teach is this — that people and governments never have learned anything from history, or acted on principles. — George Wilhelm Hegel

As the number of years I’ve lived continue to accumulate, I understand this more and more. As the duration of our past outgrows our probable future, we become absorbed in our temporal experiences and become more complacent to the lessons of history. I would like to think that, if we had spent any significant amount of time reading, learning and pondering in our youth the past events of others, it would have made a difference. We would recognize how ridiculous we all can be and, at the same time, recognize how significant we all could be. It all seems so understandable. It all seems so clear. Avoiding the wisdom of history seems so…stupid.

Now, I fear our history has been and is being “photoshopped.” People read scholarly books less and less. Searching the internet provides quick answers, but cutting and pasting does not equate to absorbing and understanding. Thought and discussion is postponed if not avoided all together to prevent contention and discord. Today we miss the deep understanding and genuine feeling of what occurred. The lessons of the past should be preserved not erased. They should not be abbreviated or re-written with subliminal messages that reflect a contemporary or (even worse) a politicized idea of reality.

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation. —Robert F. Kennedy


Get Over Yourself

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA ARIZONA — Recently, I had conversations with two people who thought that what I wrote was directed at them. They were worried I was upset with them. I had to explain, as diplomatically as I could, that they needed to get over themselves.

OK, I admit I am not too good with the diplomatic stuff. I reminded them that when I write I often write what I think or feel in that moment. It is my hope that others may read and sense a kinship if they have similar feelings or issues. So I write to vent and explore and discover new thoughts and ideas for myself, but I am not sending subliminal messages … to anyone.

Whispering.jpg I admit I am guilty of this as well. In my mind, someone not talking translates to “not talking to me,” someone looking upset translates to “I offended them. What did I do or say?”

I do not believe that Lao Tzu was thinking of me when he wrote, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Yet, that sentiment touches me. So I hope what I write or express may touch you and make you smile or think or reflect or remember. That is all.

Now I will get over myself.


Quote for the Day

by Pj in Random

The unexamined life is not worth living.
      Socrates (469 BC – 399 BC)
      in Plato, Dialogues, Apology


Two Ladies

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA ARIZONA — I love research. We have a big sheet of butcher paper on the wall above our worktable. On the table are about 10 books all about our most recent subject. central.jpgMost of our research is about two ladies. To get started, we divided them up. They are both inspirational. The more I read, the more excited I become. I can’t wait to start developing their characters in dialogue and description. I am anxious to tell their story. I want to represent who they were and how they impacted the world. In the process, I read and rediscover ideas and thoughts. I have to stop and think and see how they fit for me. It is so much fun! I feel like my world is expanding through time and history.

Our wall is going to get messy. Already we are arguing in what direction the time line should be placed. Cyndi says horizontal. I envision vertical. I know, I am difficult. Our 3×5 cards are pasted all over. It’s a process, but I am convinced the end product will be amazing. Next week we’ll create the character sheets. That can be tedious, but after writing COYOTE, I realize how important it is to know your characters! Everything from their eye color to their favorite subject in school to their religious foundation seems to impact the story because of their decision-making process.

In the meantime, my list of other writing projects keeps growing. Kind of fun, don’t ya think? Does it make you want to know the name of these ladies? Hope so. I hope what we create honors them, their lives and their contribution to the world. If we can do them justice, that film will be our contribution.

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