October, 2007 Archives


The Great Pumpkin

by Pj in Family

saac Traditions! I imagine we will always have "Pumpkin Night." I have two Peter Pans and Tinkerbell living in my house. Some take this carving thing way too seriously!
ben Others don’t take it serious at all, until someone else takes it seriously.
Then we have, "Girls just want to have fun!”
Tell me true. Whose pumpkin is the cutest? MINE! As always.


Ohhhhhhh … Aren’t they cute?


What Is So

by Pj in Random

PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA–Sometimes, when I am talking to people, I really believe I know what they are thinking by how they react physically and by how they say what they say. As a screenwriter, I have been taught that 95% of the story is carried in the nonverbal, in the visuals. Only 5% is in what the characters say. Some screenwriting teachers like John Truby say the same is true in “real life.” I really believe that.

Often, in conversation, when I ask others to clarify their actions, a brave companion will smile and ask, how did you know that? More frequently, a companion denies my interpretation. When that occurs, I doubt myself and I become troubled.

When others deny what I feel is their true feelings and thoughts, I often feel like I can’t trust my instincts. They are saying I am wrong. They know what they are thinking, but there is a nagging reluctance to believe them. Is it that they don’t know what they’re really feeling and thinking? Or perhaps they are unwilling to acknowledge what is true? Perhaps they want to keep their Johari Window closed.

crystalBall.jpgIn the end, I have to decide, do I believe what I think and feel or do I believe what they say? I usually deny myself and trust in what they say. Time usually proves that I should have trusted myself.

I find it disheartening that so many people are unable to accept what is so. I find it very difficult when those I value never entertain thoughts that might bring clarity to themselves and others.

How could I be so wrong about those I should know almost as well as I know myself? I do not believe I am wrong. I respect the individual so I believe what others say. It is difficult because I know what I feel in my heart.

Open up to the possibility that you will still be valued, still loved, still wanted if others know you. Accept what is so.



by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA- Well, this week was enlightening in so many ways and it has just begun! Yesterday I read a paper inviting parents to an evening to educate them about current drugs, drug use and how to pay attention to subtle behavior changes. I grew up in the 6o’s. I thought I was keeping up on all of the latest trends, but I was clueless about what they were talking about! When did that happen?

Last night my son helped me hook into facebook. It is the best way to keep up with my kids and what they are doing. Today I received a notice that they all have accepted me as their friend and even their friends are inviting me to be their friend. I can forsee one pretty big problem. I’m the MOM! I do not want there to be any confusion on this issue. I’m the mom. Now that that is clear, let’s play!

Keeping up. Paying attention. Staying informed. Enlightening is not a big enough word for this world. Slow down…you move too fast….you got to make the morning last… I need a nap!

I still believe, all you need is love!


We The People

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN, MESA, ARIZONA — People are superior to governments. “We the people … do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

We, the people, created the government to help safeguard our rights. We are superior to that entity. We need to remain master over it, not allow it to be the master over us. Those in government have been hired by us, the majority, to perform certain duties. We gave them the authority to fulfill their responsibilities. Their only source of authority and power is from “the people.”

We, “the people,” trust that those we have hired will fulfill their assigned duties with due diligence. When our trust is broken then we have the responsibility of hiring others to fulfill that job.

In today’s environment, government employees spend more time trying to keep their job that they don’t do their job. If they did their job, their assigned job, then they needn’t worry about keeping it. This is true on the national level, the state level and the local level. While there are dedicated politicians who serve their constituencies with integrity, there are others who float in the bureaucratic morass of mediocrity and self-service.

“We the people,” that is you and me, the individual, the citizen. “The sole object and only legitimate end of government is to protect the citizen in the enjoyment of life, liberty, and property, and when the government assumes other functions it is usurpation and oppression.” (Article 1 section 35 of the Alabama Constitution)

I need to fire some employees of mine!



by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA –“Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood” — William Shakespeare.

aphro.jpgNow in truth, I really need to look up scurrility and affectation, but I am too busy, obviously not learned enough and would much rather believe I can understand it in context.

This week has been fun. As the conversation increases, I feel more liberated to say what I think, to express how I feel and to ponder on the possibilities. I like that. Life is hard. Conversation makes me feel like the hardness is divided … and the truimphs multiplied.

I also heard it is the most effective aphrodisiac. Thought that might get your attention! Conversation should be pleasant.


Done Our Best

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA – When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace. – John Lubbock, 1834-1913, English Archaeologist / Naturalist / Politician

In a week we will be celebrating. The labor hearing will have ended. The results will be announced and there will be nothing more to do to alter those decisions. At this point we just want it to be over.

Tonight as we discussed this last summer I asked Cyndi if she would have done anything different. She admitted she would. In reflection, I am not too sure. We both were born in the late 50’s. We were raised pledging our allegiance to the flag. We were taught that right will eventually prevail. We were encouraged to always stand up for what we believed in even if we had to stand alone. The concept that at the end of the day our efforts would be in vain still remains foreign to us. We were taught that we were innocent until proven guilty and if the evidence is present then the truth would prevail regardless of how much money, influence or corruption existed in the opposition.

I am here to tell everyone that it doesn’t matter how much truth is laying before those that judge. I am hear to tell you, don’t waste your time, your money, your efforts in the pursuit of justice. It does not exist. What exists is power. Those that have it control the world and they control us. You might not think they do, but you are wrong.

One of the truest tests of integrity is it’s blunt refusal to be compromised. – Chinual Achebe.

After this summer I have become ever so jaded. I believe we have all been compromised. Celebrate the freedom to remain sitting. Sooner than you think you will be not be allowed to stand.


An Examined Life

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA – A friend of a friend said she’d heard that 97% of the world’s population chooses to live an unexamined life. The statistics suggested that humans find it uncomfortable to really think about their lives, their choices, and their situations. I heard it and wondered, “Is that true?”

Oscar Wilde wrote, ‘Know Thyself’ was written over the portal of the antique world. mosaicskeleton.jpgOver the portal of the new world, ‘Be Thyself’ shall be written. I have conversations with the three men in my life. Okay, to call them conversations is rather generous. I try to get these men to talk to me, to share their thoughts and their feelings. With words and deeds, they run quickly in all sorts of directions except to authentically respond to my request for information and insight about their thoughts and feelings.

I really am left with nothing except supposition. I believe the concept that Walter Lippmann (a MAN) expressed, Our greatest instrument for understanding the world—introspection. The best way of knowing the inwardness of our neighbor is to know ourselves.

From my own introspection, I postulate what they think and feel. I make decisions and, yes, judgments, based on my observation and experience. Often, I am told that I am wrong or I misunderstood or that they “never said that!”

I confronted them head on the other night. “I do not know what you think or what you feel because you do not tell me. I make decisions and assesments and they are always wrong. I have decided that it is not me. I am not wrong. You play it safe because you never say what you want then, when whatever is given isn’t right, you express dissatisfaction and disappointment. Nothing will ever be good enough. I will never be good enough.”

This realization was revelatory for me. I choose to lead an examined life. If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasures of illusion. — Aldous Huxley

How little do we know that which we are! How less what we may be! — Lord Byron

I will continue to seek to know more of me so I may more be. Want to talk about it? Your choice.

(Photo credit: Depicts a skeleton and the words “Know thyself” in Greek. Rome, Terme Museum. Credits: Barbara McManus, 1982)


The Voice of Others

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA — One of the truths I have embraced this year is that everyone has a right to their own uniquely individual creative expression. Sometimes our voice is the one that is to be expressed and sometimes we are the ears to hear the expression of the voice of another.

PJCabin.jpgAs I walk my own path, I must admit that there are times I feel very inadequate, especially when I witness the talents of others. I have to constantly check myself so I can fully appreciate their gifts. I cannot, nor do I want to be the only voice. Yet, when I see a beautiful painting or hear an inspirational song or witness a master teacher or experience great architecture, I am in awe and I am a bit envious of those creations. I don’t want that to be true but that is what is so.

We live in such a very competitive world. From the time we are very young we are subtly taught that we are competing with everyone about everything. As our life experience becomes more global our opportunities expand, but so does our competitors. This globalization provides so many more choices and opportunities for everyone. Sometimes, I become paralyzed with the opportunities, less able to choose, and even more fearful of failing.

It is no wonder I look for stories about individuals who succeed in the face of adversity. I seek for stories of people who follow their dreams whether they “succeed” or not. I find their stories inspiring and encouraging as I pursue my goals, one of which is enabling to hear the voice of others.

For me. in my sane moments, it isn’t about fame or recognition. It isn’t even about wealth or riches. It is about hearing many voices and appreciating the depth of what each one contributes to the choir.


Randy Pausch

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA — I generally start off my day reading the news. This morning, I treated myself to a news video on a guy named Randy Pausch. He is a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon. He is a husband and father of three children. He is funny. He is articulate. He is handsome. He is smart. He is dying of liver and pancreatic cancer.

RandyJai.jpgI watched Diane Sawyer’s interview with Randy Pausch and there were so very many kernels of information that hit the “truth meter” that I watched the video again this evening and cried again and again.

Citizens around the world have sent him letters asking him questions about his life, his dreams and his thoughts. His answers were thoughtful and honest. At the end he acknowledges his wife. He says she is an amazing person. He says they talk and talk and talk. He says that many will tell tales of him after he is gone but it is his wife that knows him best and will be able to share who he is after he is unable to share himself.

At the end of the day, I believe, all we want as humans is to be fully known by someone and still loved for who we truly are. That requires talking and sharing and accepting and forgiving and talking some more. At the end of a day (or at the end of a life), it seems that we all want to be known so we can be remembered not for what we have done, but for who we have become.

Randy Pausch has shared his hopes and dreams in The Last Lecture so his children will know him. His willingness, his vulnerablity with the world gives hope and confidence for others to share more of themselves. I will never know Randy personally, but because he shared himself I feel freer to share myself. At the end of this day I had an epiphany. A stranger shared his dreams and his truth and it profoundly impacted my life. It is clear to me that we are all of value and have something to offer the world. Everyone. Even me.


All About Me

by Pj in Family

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA — Yesterday, Ciera overslept. I am one of those “weird” Moms. I expect my kids to get themselves to bed at a reasonable hour and to get themselves up and ready for their day. So at seven, I noticed she was not up yet. Around 7:30, I remembered that she was my youngest and I am not raising her like the others. I opened her door. “Ciera, you are late.” She claims she is not. I tell her it is 7:30. She jumps out of bed and is in a junior high “drama panic.” She kicks her brother out of her bathroom and scowls at all of us.

oversleeping.jpgWhy is she mad at us?

Before she leaves for school, I sit and tell her I am waiting for an apology. She does not respond. I tell her again that she must apologize for her tirade and attitude. She defensively retorts, “Well, I hate when you round off! It wasn’t 7:30 it was only 7:27! That’s why I was so upset. It wasn’t really 7:30, yet.”

Oh! Then I understood. It was my fault after all! It’s always about me. I need to remember, no rounding off. Got to go! She has late start today. She gets to sleep in to 8:30. DON’T ROUND OFF, now. Not 8:15 or 8:45. Exactly 8:30.

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