September, 2007 Archives

28
Sep

Hallelujah

by Pj in Africa

babyElephant.jpg

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA — We spent most of the summer preparing for a legal hearing. To pacify my mind, I began working on a production reel to remind myself why we chose to do all we did for the Zambia project. The following is still a work in progress. It continues to be a driving force as we try to produce a work of art for others and ourselves.

The Zambian project was, for me, one of the most life altering experiences I have ever encountered. I believe the crew members were motivated by much, much more than what they might benefit personally. We worked together and accomplished more than if we had worked alone. That in itself was a life lesson. I hope you can hear the voices of the many people who made this project what it was in “Hallelujah”.

26
Sep

Shmily

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA – Yesterday, I came home from work and someone had sent me flowers. The card was rather personal and with an unconventional name but I knew right away who they were from. The card was signed “Shmily.” That confused me. I use nonsense words that mean something only to me so I was worried that someone was trying to yank my chain. I called Wistie and asked her if she had sent me flowers. “Why would I send you flowers?” The old avoidance approach. I gave her a lesson on lies of omission and comission.

WisLovesPJ.jpgA couple of weeks ago, I asked her about her blog page and the songs she chose to put on it. There is a song I love on her welcoming page. It is such a sad song. It makes me cry but it touches me every time I hear it. I thought she was thinking of all of her old friends and was missing them. I asked her about it and she laughed at me. “Mom, that song was for you!” Made me cry again! The song on Wistie’s Blog is Gavin Mikhail’s DAYS GONE BY.

Flowers from my daughter. My son Saac sent me flowers once. He also sent me the bill for them. So I’m thinking, I must be doing something right. I checked her bank account and she has already paid for them herself! Shmiley made me smile. That is always a good thing.

25
Sep

We’re Behind Bars

by Pj in Film Production

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA, ARIZONA – There are moments in life when events happen that make you realize you are an adult. That happened this week. We feel like we have grown up and have become an official production house. It is true we have produced quite a bit of product this year. One feature film, one documentary, an art instructional DVD series, two music videos. We are in the process of writing three different screenplays and we completed some smaller productions for private clients. We also spent time researching, fighting and overcoming a wrongful termination notice.

GingherBarcode.jpgIn spite of all that, what made us feel all grown up? Some little lines and numbers. This week we received our first ISBN numbers. We can officially sell our products through Baker & Taylor, Amazon, Border and almost anywhere else you can name in the world. Seems like a silly thing, but for us to have our own bar code is…well… pretty cool.

So now we can produce our work and the work of others. This barcode is for Gingher Leyendecker’s Art Instructional DVD on Charcoal Drawing. We are official. One giant toddler and one California girl. I hope being an adult doesn’t mean the fun stops. Can’t imagine that happening. We like having fun way too much! Maybe that is what growing up is all about. Enjoying life, MY life.

24
Sep

Finding the Sap

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA — This weekend I had a chance to be up in the White Mountains without my family. I got up very early and took myself for a walk. The air was crisp and clean. I was enveloped in that “rain on dirt musky” smell. whiteMtns.jpgIt was enhanced with the smell of damp pine. I headed into the forest and found a tree that had been cut down. Nice place to sit and allow time for the sap to be oozing into my jeans. I sat a long time and thought in the quiet of the morning. Yes, the sky was blue and dotted with white clouds. The birds were chirping and the breeze danced and vibrated through the leaves. I noticed it all and appreciated it all, but I was trying to connect with something or someone and I found that I was the only thing there to connect to. That thought was not too appealing. Not because I was alone. I cherish the solitude. It was that I felt like a stranger to myself. It was very odd.

As I unlayer more of who I am, I seem so unfamiliar to myself. Sometimes I think it is easier to be the façade people know me to be than it is to actually be …me. I looked at my hands and they seem different. My thoughts are different. I believe they are more real, more honest, but since they seem so unfamiliar… well that terrifies me sometimes. How long have I hidden from me? What all have I hidden and for how long? Will I be able to find all of me before it’s too late?

There was a saying when I was younger, “She has gone off to find herself.” I never did that. I was too busy trying to do the right thing. So, I am doing it now. Ironically, I don’t have to go off anywhere because what I need to explore is me and I find that I am always wherever I am. It is in me. It is me. Sap and all.

23
Sep

I Am Serious

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA – We had set up a meeting with a potential client on two different occasions. Last Friday, I had arranged my schedule to accommodate a third effort for a meeting. I had a four-hour window of opportunity and then I had another commitment in the late afternoon. So when his business associate called to let me know the meeting we had scheduled had been demoted due to some other last minute meeting … well I let her know I had other meetings, too. So three of us went ahead and met and hoped his other meeting would end and he could join us. I asked during this meeting if he was serious. She wanted to know what other meeting I had that might be more important than meeting with him. The implication was clear to me. Was I serious?

Now, I am not sure when I became insulted. I don’t think that really matters. What I am wondering is why is my time less valuable than someone else’s. My first reaction was that I am a woman. My husband informed me that he waits for me all the time. I told him he might wait 5 minutes, I have waited 5 hours for him and other “men.” And, now, I contend that I have waited five days! This is my time people. My time. And it is just as valuable as yours. If I were going to be late I would call, but you can bet your socks that I would not be late for the second meeting let alone blow it off a third time.

getSeriousPam.jpgHave I fed the beast? Does my behavior tell others that they are more important than me? No one is more important nor I might add is anyone less important. It is a matter of mutual respect and consideration. I am not a vengeful person. I will continue to meet my business associates promptly…that is who I am and will continue to be.

Just please don’t mess with me.

I am serious!

20
Sep

Anything’s Possible

by Pj in Random

What a day! Sometimes we make decisions and we aren’t sure what the “right” thing to do is. Sometimes, it is after the decision is made when we discover that feeling of relief when everything feels just right. This comes after the choice is made and action occurs. Tonight, we made a business decision. I have been fighting it for some time. My business partner coached me and prodded me. Finally, I reluctantly considered the possibility of other options and choices. Now I wonder why it took me so long! I guess I am stubborn after all. All I know is I feel liberated and excited again about my business aspirations and goals. What a relief! Don’t get me wrong. I love my work. Every aspect of it, but I discovered the benefit of team work over a year ago. Today, I rediscovered that others are just as capable and, perhaps, sometimes more capable of accomplishing the same tasks as I am. When we work together on those goals it is easier for everyone and the end result is richer and more dimensional. It feels good to feel “right” with my world again. Once again anything seems possible!

16
Sep

At Home

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN MESA ARIZONA – I rarely dream. So when I do dream, I often wake up wondering and worrying if who I dreamed about is okay. I am grandiose like that. Hmmm, what am I supposed to do for that person? I try to remember the dream—to see their eyes, pjwis.jpgtheir smile, understand what their message was. I am such a dolt. My dreams are not about others, but about me and what I want to know and understand.

The eyes are the mirror of the soul. Whose soul, if not our own? I look into my eyes through a mirror and … hit a wall. Today, I am not up to facing my soul. I like that I dreamed of you. I saw your eyes and how they looked into mine. You did not hit a wall. You saw my soul. You saw me and I felt at home again. How do you do that? Just seeing you, even in a dream, still makes me smile. How is it that another’s eyes are the mirror to my soul? Even if through a memory or a dream? Do others dream of me as well? Do you feel at home in my eyes? I hope so. Be happy and know no matter what you do or where life takes you, I will dream of you if only to see myself in your eyes.

15
Sep

Wii BOX

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA — We have spent the last month trying to consolidate two households into one. In my home, I now have two LARGE desks, two pianos, two of too many kitchen items. aqua.jpgFour cars for a two car garage. But the items that have altered all of our lives are … the Wii and an aquarium. Now you are probably thinking of an aquarium like I always thought of an aquarium. A glass rectangle with a couple of fish and a fake green seaweed thing to float around. Nope, that would be too simple. I have an aquarium that covers one of my walls … a wall that used to be the home of my children’s portraits. Not anymore. Now we have barrels and buckets and water systems and a constant hum throughout our house. We also have a luminous glow that emanates from that room. On Saturday mornings, I have a hose that snakes through my back door down my stairs and into the aquarium. Sometimes it smells a tad fishy. I’m not too fond of fishy.

blackclownfish.jpgAt night we sit around and watch the fish swim. And the fish watch us … play. Family unity has come to mean something entirely different than eating dinner at 5 p.m. In our family, we bowl, play tennis, golf and my personal favorite … we box. I kick butt! All this in the comfort of my family room! Turn down the air! All this exercise is making me sweat bullets! Or it could be a hot flash, I guess. Hmmm. Back to the aquarium for meditation. By the way, anyone interested in a player piano? Wii deliver.

13
Sep

Life of the Rich and Famous

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA BOWMAN – MESA, ARIZONA — Last week I got to find out firsthand some of the perks of the rich and famous. FrenchMineralPool.jpgMy business partner was selected as the August candidate for Woman of the Year. She received a basket of goodies. In the basket, there was a gift certificate to a very, very, very nice spa. I received a body massage for an hour and a facial for another hour. Then I floated around in a pool of mineral water (imported from France!) to my heart’s content. I laid in the sun and drank iced water seasoned with ginger and mint leaves. La Dee Da! After editing this last year … well my neck needed the stress relief even if the rest of me didn’t! (Above: French Celtic Mineral Pool at Spa Avania, Hyatt Regency, Gainey Ranch where I floated peacefully in the midday sun.)

It was my first massage. My masseuse said I looked pretty scared and apprehensive when she brought me into her room. She was pleasantly surprised at how relaxed I was on her table.massageRoom.jpg “You were like a wet noodle!” she exclaimed. I am a lot of things. Stupid isn’t one of them. I have the sense to relax if you put me on a warm, cozy table and start rubbing away! There was this relaxing music and scented candles. It was easy to forget that I was naked. Okay it wasn’t easy to forget but I was covered up for Pete’s sake and let’s face it … I am too old to care anymore about what I once looked like. What was important in this case was what it felt like. It just felt good. And frankly, for all the work I’ve done this last year and the stress I’ve been under with the hearing, I deserved it. As a matter of fact, I think everyone deserves at least one amazing wonderful massage in their lifetime. (Left: Massage Treatment Room at Spa Avania, Hyatt Regency, Gainey Ranch)

11
Sep

Consequences

by Pj in Random

BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA – I have always believed that information provides the power and ability to make better choices. What I have found, as I enter my 50th year, is that information is good but information with life experiences is even better. When I was younger, I did not understand that every choice one makes inherently has hidden and unforeseen consequences. Understanding that those unknowns exist can make one cautious and hopefully, more wise in the choice.

I often spend time pondering on the infinite number of possible outcomes in everyday situations. Invaribly, none of those imagined scenarios come to pass. Sometimes the consequences are wonderful surprises and sometimes they are devastating disappointments.

How we face our life’s experiences tells the world who we are. Even more importantly, in dealing with the consequences of our choices, we become more familiar with our authentic self. The information we glean is really about ourselves which makes us more powerful to make better and wiser choices.

One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes … and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. — Eleanor Roosevelt

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