Pamela Jo Bowman

Last week we decided to post it. We couldn’t resist anymore. We had no idea within one week it would go viral, but it did. We had decided to start posting some other funny moments, and then we saw it. Someone or a lot of someones put their watermark on our clip. What is up with that? We don’t care if you want to share what we share, but for Pete’s sake don’t try to own it! Kind of let’s me know how artists feel when others down load their creation. Come on people. Don’t you feel wrong? For those of you who would like to see a small clip of a crazy guy check out on YouTube 50 cent Zambian. We think he is hilarious. Share if you like, but don’t call it yours. Don’t imply it’s yours. It isn’t. There ought to be a law. Oh wait there is. Obey it.

Indie Films | No Comments »

Mothers Day. Oh boy. In my lifetime, I have run the gamut on this holiday. As a child I looked forward to honoring my mother and her efforts on my behalf. As a young wife, I was eight (8) months pregnant on my first “married Mother’s Day.” I received the small gift passed out in church for the mothers. As I recall it was a bar of chocolate. As the years passed, I went through the “oh-boy-I-get-a-gift” phase to the “oh no! More sentiments expressing how wonderful mothers are! Excuse me, but I could really do without the guilt.” This Mother’s Day, I am most aware that my nest is emptying and my family size is diminishing. I still enjoy the chocolate but it really ticks me off when they buy the kind with nuts. ARGH!

Every year my family used to ask me what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I remember thinking about a gift for my mother months in advance. I started saving and shopping and scanning the Sears Roebuck catalogue. It was really important to find just the right thing. Something to make her delighted. Something to make her eyes smile. Not the fake smile, but, the real deal smile. This year, the only one who asked me what I wanted was my husband and I am quite certain he is not my child (although some of my friends think of their husband as one of the children)!

It hurts my feelings when they run out on Saturday evening and grab any gift they can locate at Walmart. When their friends are having a birthday or the holidays are approaching, I watch my children save and shop for their friends weeks in advance. When it is my birthday (well, let’s not even go there this year) or a special holiday, I am saddened to have become a duty or obligation they endure.

This morning, I found an old envelope. I opened it up and there were all my old Mother’s Day cards that my kids had written to me. Some of the early ones were so full of youthful love, enthusiasm and excitement. Those were the days when I was still on the top of their list. Barring a miracle tomorrow, I am pretty certain nothing could beat those childhood gifts that just keeps giving. Dang those darn memories of wet kisses and misspelled sentiments of love and devotion. What’s a mother to do? I am still looking forward to chocolate bars. Surely someone will remember those. Hold the nuts, please.

Family | No Comments »

What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, ‘This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!’ Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, ‘Never have I heard anything more divine’? — Friedrich Nietzsche

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” — Albert Ellis

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” — Bernice Johnson Reagon, African American Composer

“High minds, of native pride and force, most deeply feel thy pangs, Remorse; Fear, for their scourge, means villains have, Thou art the torturer of the brave.” — Sir Walter Scott

Realizations | 1 Comment »

How do I know she is back? First clue is my car is gone, my keys are gone and there are dirty dishes. Okay, more than the normal amount of dirty dishes. She did lie next to me this evening to watch AMERICAN IDOL and then she had the nerve to ask me to make HER dinner. What is up with that? So when her friend arrived to whisk her away, I made her do the dishes first. If I cook then I won’t clean! And, since the dishwasher broke this week (just in time for that lovely government rebate!), it was the least she could do. I would take the car, but she has my keys! Good thing I have my bike. Tonight she tried to teach me the cha-cha. Well, that was good for a laugh. Chris was watching with amusement as I tried not to shake my booty! Kind of hard at my age when everything jiggles. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. I am sure another dance lesson is in the works. We argue about who is the guy. Only time neither of us wants to lead. Funny girl — got to love her.

Family | 5 Comments »

Two days of traveling and two days of … not traveling. I just have one question. Where is it written that Moms go to clean out their daughters apartments so they can receive their security deposit back? Where?
I told Chris to let Wistie pack up and clean and then she could call us and we would be more then happy to pick her up, once the slopes shut down. But NO! “I think she needs our help.” I do not remember my mother EVER helping me clean my apartment. However, I do remember helping CHRIS clean his! At least she comes by it honestly!

Now I fear we have set the precedence for Cierajo. I told her that in 6 years when she is college bound I will be too old for this stuff. She just smiled and looked at her Dad. The last night Wistie and Cierajo had a slumber party in her immaculate apartment. Pizza and movies and chocolate and no blankets or shower curtain or tooth brush. How could they stand it? I have to brush every two hours or go crazy!

So now the whole family is home for a week. I was home 5 minutes before the crowds started arriving, wanting …dinner! Fortunately, my boys had prepared breakfast for dinner. Brings up another question … Ummm, where did they learn how to cook?

Family | 2 Comments »

We visited two friends in the hospital this week. Both patients are in serious condition. And sitting by their side are their spouses with such looks of bewilderment. I looked into their eyes and saw the disbelief at what might occur for them. A lifetime, a moment, a marriage. Where did it all go? Withered hands reached out and touched the faces they knew so well. Wiping a brow, patting a cheek, tracing the lines etched around their eyes and I know they barely remember days when it was smooth.

In the waiting room they sat and looked … lost. So a part of the other person, so used to holding the familiar hand, comforted by the very smell, the accustomed voice, even the taste of their skin, their breath, their kiss. The years of work, worry and wonder welded them into the wish forever after.

We also attended three weddings this week. Young love, young lives, yearning right now for the unity that will take years of living and giving and taking to achieve. Reach out and hold each other’s hand … then hang on. It’s going to be a wild ride, but in the end you’ll want to go again if you remember to laugh, if you trust enough to cry and brave enough to share what you think and feel and believe.

To be loved gives you courage, to love gives you strength.

Realizations | No Comments »

There is a story in the bible of Jesus teaching in the temple when he was still a child. I love that story for many reasons. Today I love that story because, to me, it shows that those who loved him loved him truly. I believe that when you are truly loved it gives you courage. He was unafraid to do what He wanted and needed to do. He did not need his parents by his side to encourage him or his friends to motivate him. He had the courage, I believe, because He knew He was loved unconditionally. This love liberated Him, even as a child, to do His thing alone.

To me this is really love. Not just parental love, but that deeper, sacred, can’t even define it, kind of love. That is what I wanted and still want to give my children, courage. If they are self motivated to discover what they want independent of me and then have the ambition to go after it then I know they know they are loved.

As they develop other relationships and those relationships are based on that same kind of love, then they will continue to have the courage to do what they want with their lives. In turn as they love others it will only increase their own strength, as those they love are able to have the courage to pursue their life goals and desires. Kind of cool I think..

Something to think about if you want to know if you have the “real” thing that enables you to be the “real” you.

Realizations | 1 Comment »

This is always a busy time of year. School “year-end’ activities, spring cleaning, yard work, allergies, waiting for Cannes to let us know that they loved our movie, picking up returning college students, sending off kids for summer adventures, finishing another documentary, continue writing on this most amazing screenplay, researching another very important and timely writing project, wash the windows, clean the garage, ride my bike to work every day, pay attention to a 12-year old, ignore young adults who act like 12 year olds. Breathe. More of this life stuff. Pay attention to these moments that make up this life stuff.

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” — Norman Cousins

Remember those long Indian summer evenings when the sun was setting and all the neighborhood kids were lying on their backs looking at the darkening sky, waiting, waiting, waiting for it to be dark enough for hide and seek?

The moment when everything seemed possible the happiness of being alive bubbled up and out into giggles. Hugging our legs we could smell the grass stains between the knee lines. We could taste the fresh green grapes squirting juice between our teeth. The breeze had died to a whimper. Dogs distantly bark and mothers call errant children in for the night.

One evening, as the first star slowly appeared, I had my first existential inquiry. In comparison to that star, I am as small as this ant on this blade of grass. How is that possible? How is any of this possible? Someone make sense out of how we came to be. Ollie, ollie, oxen free. I’m it. It’s too dark to see. If I stay close to the light pole I will always be safe, but that isn’t really playing the game, is it.

Star bright, star light, wish I may, wish I might, not ever had thought about your light in this the darkest of dark nights. Chase away the thought and play the game.

Madness | 5 Comments »

Working on a historical screenplay is more difficult than writing an original screenplay! When I first started researching “the ladies” I thought, “Wow! This is going to write itself!” Now that we have done the outline and the 22 steps and discussed these characters until they haunt me day and night, I have become pathetic on the details. My writing partner is getting a tad impatient with me. “What difference does it make what the name of the ship was? What does that have to do with the story?”

Perhaps she is right, but I think details make the story real and alive. I start writing a scene and then I grab all the books and start looking for information that verifies the story line. This is more time consuming because frankly I have memory issues. I doubt what I am recalling and wonder where I read it or even if I read it or imagined it! So I keep re-researching to make sure I have the facts straight. Now I have to cut myself some slack. No one else will! We are also researching some other stories and they start to bleed into one another. That’s not a problem, right?

Funny thing happened this week. Cyndi asked me, “How many magistrates were in the court room?” What was fun was that I KNEW the answer. Instead I just looked at her, narrowed my eyes and said, “Hmmm, what does that little detail have to do with the story?” Now that was fun! I grabbed the RIGHT book, flipped open to the correct page and read the answer to her. What a historical moment that was! GREAT FUN!

Screenwriting | 3 Comments »

Tonight has been typical. Chris has decided to sand my hutch for the fourth time. I began refinishing my table a few weeks ago. He took over and then moved on to the hutch. Apparently after the hutch’s fourth different color stain (has to be perfect) it was finally finished, he scratched it when he walked by. He did bring in the table. Now that the boys’ names are no longer etched into the wood, it looks nice.

Ben found his old superballs and was tossing them around his room. I asked him to stop playing with his ? and go and help his father carry in the table. I didn’t realize what I said until after I said it! Too late. Everyone in the room’s mouth dropped open. Did she just say what we think she just said? Walk away from the bomb! I turned, embarrassingly and bumped into…Chris. They all found this amusing.

Then Saac decided to see what his new lights for his aquarium would look like. He plugged in the lights and climbed onto a chair and held the lights over the open aquarium. I did mention the consequences that could occur if he dropped the live lights into the water. I had to leave the room. Didn’t want to see those fish fry or my son either.

They are discussing how they can rig up some sort of wire to hang from the ceiling for the new lights. They think it would be cool looking. I asked what would happen if and when the aquarium moved out. They assured me they could repair the roof in no time.

In no time. I have heard that phrase before. Four years ago when we started to remodel the bathroom. Three years ago when we started landscaping. What phrase strikes terror in my heart, “We don’t need to buy that. I can make it.” Elaborate? Sorry, some other time.

Venting | 1 Comment »